We remain immobile in a fresh hug, which I feel it with every fiber.
For many years we have been friends, inseparable brothers, and now I feel Andrewlike a stranger to my soul.
Source: charismamag.com
Everything I knew he feels and thinks at every step is just one side of the truth, which now appears to me so complex.
Antagonist selves, we were drawn from the first moment and we often understand at a glance, out of a smile. 4 years ago I learned politics and social communication to understand him, he learned football. We are two parts of the same whole, and now I see it for the first time. This embrace was the first of two people who love each other more than friends do.
I was told that such a special relationship like the one between us could not remain just a friendship, and I did not believe it, that Andrew was in love with me for a long time the moment Robert came into my life. Now I understand: the special pleasure we lived in every conversation, in which it was an erotic semen, even in political polemics. Our profound admiration for each other could also be transformed for me in love.
I twist slightly into a pirouette in his arms and I touch his cheeks with my fingers. I would like him to know how I feel. I kissed him strongly on his cheek and I put my fingers through his hair. I kissed hissoft lips also, and I touched them with my fingers and my nails. He smiles clean and I know he loves me. I would like bhim to know how hard it is to me, it seems to me that I was easier to manage if everything that had happened had been the result of hiswishes, in combination with Robert’s inconceivable fantasy.
– Ana, the water has cooled. I leave you, although there is room for two people. I know you have a lot to think about … My presence would confuse you.
– Excuse me, Dew (the nephew from his sister has two years and only a darling and shrewd “Dei” could come from his mouth when uncle Andrew was presented to him and since then it was his nickname ). I seem to be ravaged and I am. All is new for me, I do not know what I feel, I do not know how to behave, I do not know how you perceive me. I wish everything is over soon, togo home as soon as possible. Strange is that until now it was “home” here. Now I do not even know that too. I know I love Robert a lot and that is hurting you. And I know I can not stay here anymore after what I did to him . I am very fond of you and you know that. It’s a tense situation for me. I never quarreled with Robert, who knew he could trust me. He does not know it anymore, and I do not know in what I’ve changed. I realized that I love you, that everything that you are, what you think and how you feel it complements me, it fills me with joy.
– Ana, but you never told me anything as nice as this, and still your eyes glaring sad. You know I love you too. I loved you before even meeting you, you kidnapped me when I saw you, beautiful, smiley, warm. Fresh. I do not regret anything. Not even because i have never told you that for two years when you were free as a bird. Because now I love you more. This situation has matured me, defined me as a man. You know I do not love routine also. Everything followed logically, and my discussion with Robert was natural.
He slowly broke off the threshold, and I was still standing. There was too much for one day. Robert’s betrayal, his script, had confirmed my suspicions. I’ll have a confrontation with him. I get up easily from the tub, I wipe myself in a hurry.
Being confused, I forgot to take something to wear in the bathroom, neither the towel nor the sheet were helping me. I get tiptoed in my office. With luck I find a shirt forgotten by Robert there.
Without pretensions to other underwear, the white shirt was covering me well, it was wide and long. I open my laptop, put some music. I’m looking at the documents I want to copy because I want to take them with me, they need to be presented soon. I hear them talking in the living room and I can not believe it, they look very calm, even good buddies. I hear some steps and I quickly turn away to look for my laptop, when I see Robert coming in well, he smiles and kisses my forehead. I kiss him back and i hug him. I feel him now and I would not want to loosen my grip. His warm, passionate lips tell me he loves me. I feel this with all my pores. Tenderly, my lips go away with my tongue and it is taking place. The passion in his eyes, the hands that touch my face, then my breasts, tell me he does not want me to go. I love his simplistic way that always solve any problem with me. He left me last night to speak alone, he did not bother to fight back! Knowing that I can not leave without a kiss without a goodbye, he thought he was better off sleeping than contradicting with me.
– I’m sorry, Robert, but why are you doing it? It hurtsme to spend the worst hours of my life thinking I’m going to disappear from your life. You leave me in agony, you do not answer me and you act as if nothing had happened. Everything has a limit. You know how bad it did to me last night, but you do not justify it in any way.
– Sweetheart … I know you so well that it’s much easier to tell you after. Believe me I knew what I was doing, and especially why. What would you like me to say? That I’m a good friend of Dew since we met and that I knew he loves you? That he’s never been with a girl? That he always waited for you and I feel like I stole you from him?
I smile bitter and I get out of his arms. The words seemedlike a whip. I realize the fear to lose him has transformed me into another person, that I am no longer the crazy one whom he loved, that I have transformed myself, that I have molded myself in his hands. We take a seat on the couch. The words seem to have released me, and yet I do not know what to do. The discussion must continue.
-Robert, what’s going to be with us? All that I knew about my life was ruined as a domino game. Like nothing I ever experienced was not real. My friendship with Dew was not real, he pretended all the time, though for a noble purpose. And I feel like this story makes me dirty.
– You should better think that you have two men who adore you. Like you love us, because if you would not feel love for us, you would not have done anything, I know how stubborn you are.
He kisses me on the forehead, turns back to me, and he tightens my both hands.
– Ana, I’ve been through similar situations. You do not know , but I have the experience of knowing I’m about to lose you when you love me more. Why? Because Dewwould not given up on his dream. He would have been able to talk to you, to charm you, to get away from me. To cheat on me, then to leave me scared. I prefer to have gone through these together, to teach you to live with the idea, to say “that’s it” and to go through life smiling. Why both of us to suffer? You would have come to love both of us. Then the carousel continues: you argue with me; I do not allow you, but you leave me. You broke the course of life of three people without hurting you. We stay in the same way, after some years we marry a stupi and ugly person. Learn to live with the situation and use it to your advantage!
I kiss him on the cheek and I get up. Robert hugs me slightly over my ass and urges me to finish the job on my laptop and get to Dew, who is as puzzled by … everything! I do not have much to say, the conversation ended and I was meditating, and in the process I came to the conclusion that he is probably right. Without knowing his reasons, I discover I love Andrew the dreamer, without telling Robert the continuation. Maybe I will learn to live with this …
– Ana, I’m going to take something else to eat and drink. It was a tough night and I do not want you to do anything for breakfast.
I smile and he leaves. I look after him, I smile and I feel tears wanting to be released, but I keep them. He turns towards me with his very blue eyes and warm eyes:
– I do not want to lose you!
I feel like I live, I’m reborn. That everything that has passed is the divine attempt of our relationship. Robert has the vision of the trap before the rupture has occurred. Would that be the case? I’m glad I did not find out, thAT we crossed our destinies and that we love each other.
